


Roses In The Spring

by NieNieDoULoveMe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Blood, Bokuaka - Freeform, Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Post-Time Skip, Sad Ending, akaashi keiji - Freeform, bokuto koutarou - Freeform, tsukishima kei - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NieNieDoULoveMe/pseuds/NieNieDoULoveMe
Summary: Keiji didn’t know what to do when he was hunched over the toilet seat, coughing up rose petals when he and Bokuto have been together for almost 10 years
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 115





	Roses In The Spring

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who don’t know:
> 
> Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where someone begins coughing up flower petals because they have unrequited feelings for someone. The flowers can grow in the stomach, lungs, or heart, though it is traditionally in the lungs.

Keiji didn’t know.

Keiji didn’t know what to do.

He was slumped in front of the toilet, clutching at the sides, as red rose petals slowly started to exit his mouth. 

“Did Koutarou get tired of me?” 

The thought raced around his mind, not giving him a second to think of any alternative reasons. 

Silent whimpers and heaves left Keiji’s mouth when the petals would stop. 

“Keiji? Are you okay?” The sound of Bokuto’s voice called through the corridors. 

Bokuto tried to open the door but fortunately it was locked. 

Keiji didn’t know when he closed the door, much less locked it but he was glad it was. 

“Yeah, sorry.” Keiji spoke, clutching his chest. 

Three knocks. 

“Are you sick or something?” 

“Yeah, must have been the seafood.”

* * *

When Keiji was sure there were no more petals that would escape his mouth, he flushed the toilet and watched as the petals disappeared down the drain. 

He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. 

“Are you okay now?” Bokuto asked from behind Keiji. 

“Yeah, sorry for worrying you.”

When strong arms wrapped around Keiji’s body he could feel the itch at the back of his throat. 

“Uhm, I’m gonna go to sleep early.” Keiji pulled away from Bokuto’s grip. “I’m kind of tired.”

“Right, goodnight, Keiji.”

Bokuto stares at Keiji as he makes his way to their room. 

There, Keiji flicks through his phone and clicks a familiar contact. 

Tsukishima Kei

_Akaashi Keiji: Kei, can we meet up tomorrow? It’s an emergency._

* * *

Every time the door opened, Keiji immediately looked, hoping that Tsukki would walk through the door. 

When he finally did, the raven haired waved the blond down. 

Tsukishima didn’t waste a second and immediately walked towards the table, sitting down on the seat in front of Keiji. 

“Keiji? I got your text, what’s up?”

Silence. 

“Keiji?” Tsukishima was shocked to hear a whimper come from the smaller male. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tsukishima grabbed Keiji’s shoulder, stroking it with his thumb.

“What did I do?” Keiji muttered, “Was I not enough? What did I do wrong?”

The whimpers slowly turned into light sobbing, which caught the attention of the people seated on the tables around them. 

“Keiji I can't help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Keiji reached into his pocket and pulled out a single red petal. 

Tsukishima switched glances between the petal and at Keiji until he understood what the raven haired meant. 

“You mean?” Tsukishima asks in disbelief, “Fuck, Keiji.”

“Was I not enough?” Keiji places both hands on his face in an effort to muffle the sound of his crying. 

“Did you tell him?” 

Keiji shook his head. 

“What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know, I thought he loved me, I thought he wouldn’t leave me, he said it himself.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” Tsukishima rubbed Keiji’s back in an attempt to calm him down but to no avail. 

“I don’t wanna die, Tsukki.” He paused, “But I also don’t want to forget him.”

“Then what are you gonna do? Spend the weeks you have left with the guy who’s slowly losing interest in you?”

Keiji wanted to nod.

He wanted to stay next to Bokuto, even if his feelings were becoming unrequited. 

* * *

  
Weeks passed and Keiji’s condition didn’t get any better. 

Keiji did his best to hide it from Bokuto but every so often Bokuto would catch him running to the bathroom followed by whimpers, coughs and heaves. 

Bokuto assumed that Keiji just had the case of acid reflux and urged Keiji to not go to work. 

But while Keiji was at home his condition grew worse. 

Every so often he would call Tsukishima and he would come barging in immediately. 

One particular evening Keiji was in the living room with Tsukishima. It was quiet between them, aside from the sound of the tv, and occasional coughs coming from the raven haired. 

Keiji was holding a trash bin to catch all the petals, now with a few rose stems mixed in. 

With every cough Tsukishima looked at Keiji, rubbing his back in the process. 

“Keiji you have to tell him.” The blond haired spoke. 

Keiji stayed silent. 

“You know it isn’t fair for him-”

“I know it isn’t but,” Keiji clutched the bin harder. “I’m scared, what if I don’t get the answer I want? What if he really did get tired of me?”

At this point, Keiji was shaking. 

“I’d rather die with the thought that he still loves me than tell him and risk getting ‘yes I got tired of you’ as a response.”

Hearing ‘die’ coming from his own mouth scared the hell out of Keiji. He didn’t want to die, but he also didn’t want to forget. 

“Don’t say that! You’re not gonna die!” Tsukishima almost screamed. 

“Kei, look at me, I’m getting worse by the minute.”

“Then get surgery or something!” 

“You know I don’t want that Kei, I don’t want to forget him, I don’t want to forget us.”

“Then you’re just setting yourself up to die?” Tsukishima asked, a mix of sympathy, sadness, and confusion written all over his face. 

“If it means I’ll die with my memories then yes.” 

“Damn it, Keiji!” Tsukishima stood up. “A lot of people look up to you and you’re just gonna give up?”

Keiji was just silent. 

“You’re just gonna leave everyone without an explanation?” Tsukishima starts lifting up fingers with every name he speaks, “your parents, your workmates, Hinata, god, Keiji hinata looks up to you like you’re a saint and you’re just gonna leave him? And me! What the hell Keiji! We’ve been friends since highschool and this is how you’re planning to end it?”

Tsukishima may be snarky and sarcastic but he rarely gets angry. Keiji knows this and understands how serious it is. 

“Kei, look, I know it’s selfish of me but I can’t. I’m sorry, I just can’t forget him-” Keiji, at the partial mention of Bokuto, starts coughing up more rose petals. 

“Dammit, Keiji, look what’s happening to you.” Tsukishima wipes a few stray tears then kneels down so he is at Keiji's level, then starts rubbing his back. 

“I love him too much.”

When Keiji finished his coughing fit, Tsukishima stood up, face lacking all emotion. 

“Keiji, I’m sorry, this might be selfish of me but if that’s what you’re planning to do then I won’t visit you anymore.”

Keiji looks up at Tsukishima and nods. 

“I think it’s best, no need to get any more attached.” Keiji just watched his friend, who was now headed out the door. 

“For what it’s worth, I’d much rather see you alive, everyone does.” 

Tsukishima shuts the door and Keiji is back in his own zone. When he was sure that Tsukishima was far enough he let the tears fall. 

“Fuck, Kei, I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

The sound of the movie was enough to cover up the whimpers and sobs that left Keiji’s mouth but wasn’t enough to cover up the sound of his coughing fits. 

* * *

  
Keiji was able to clean up and throw away the rose filled bag in the compost before Bokuto had come home. 

When Bokuto came home he immediately hugged Keiji, followed by a kiss on the forehead.

The small scratches at the back of his throat disappeared and he was able to speak a soft “Welcome back.”

“Are you okay now?” Bokuto asks, kicking his shoes off and placing them on the shoe rack. 

“Yes I am.” Keiji lied, but Bokuto was gullible enough to believe that lie. 

“Really! I was getting worried about you, you know?”

“Don’t worry, I’m alright now.” Keiji wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck and the itch at the back of his throat disappeared. 

It was only at these times that he was free from the constant ache of his heart and itch of his throat. 

When he would convince himself that Bokuto still loves him. 

* * *

It was 11 pm when Keiji and Bokuto went to bed. 

While Bokuto softly plays with Keiji’s hair, Keiji slowly feels his lungs going heavy, making it harder and harder for him to breathe. 

And the fact that the person was doing this to him was nuzzled against him in their shared bed. 

“Koutarou?” Keiji called, causing the male to shift beside him. 

“Keiji?”

“Have you gotten tired of me?” Keiji asks out of the blue, which surprised the taller male. 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Koutarou was I not enough for you?” Keiji sat up, “Please tell me the truth.”

He could feel the roses growing inside him and he knew he didn’t have much time. 

“Keiji,” Koutarou paused, lowering his head in the process. “Sorry.”

Keiji felt his heart plummet. He was speechless, he was in shock, he was devastated.

He thought he was mentally prepared when Bokuto would confess that he did get tired of him, but once those words left his mouth, Keiji could do nothing but stare. 

The pain in his chest was unbearable. He didn’t know if it was caused by the heartbreak or the roses slowly suffocating him. 

The silence was immediately broken when a hard cough escaped from Keiji’s lips.

He covered his mouth with one hand and gripped the satin bedsheets with the other. 

“Keiji? What’s wrong?” Bokuto’s concern grew, sitting up and placing gentle taps on keiji’s back. 

As he coughed, Rose stems began to fall out of his mouth mixed with blood and red roses. 

The blood stained their white satin bed sheets and the petals now turned into large red flowers and long thorn filled stems. 

Koutarou was at shock. He knew what this meant. He didn’t know that losing interest would make Keiji suffer this much pain. 

“Hanahaki?” Bokuto asked, voice cracking, “Keiji, why didn’t you tell me.”

Bokuto was in tears now, he may not have loved Keiji as much as he did before but he didn’t expect this to happen. 

He felt like he was to blame. 

“I’m… sorry.” Keiji muttered between heaves, coughs, and whimpers. “Sorry… Sorry… Sorry.”

“Fuck, Keiji please don’t be sorry,” Bokuto hugged the raven haired, “this is my fault, don’t feel sorry.”

Keiji began to cough out more of the flowers mixed with thorn filled stems and blood. 

Every breath grew harder and harder. 

Bokuto couldn't do anything else but to hug Keiji tighter. He felt helpless, useless even. 

“Koutarou, what did I do wrong?” Keiji asks, barely louder than a whisper. 

“It wasn’t you, it was me, okay? So please hate me. Hate me more than you hate anything else in the world. Hate me because I did this to you.”

He clung on to the raven haired like his own life depended on it. 

“Hate me because I’m the one who got tired, I’m the one who gave up, I’m the one who didn’t look for another way.”

Underneath him Keiji shook his head. 

“Don’t blame yourself, I knew but I chose not to go to surg-” Keiji was interrupted by more coughing.

“Surgery.” Keiji wheezed. “I didn’t want to forget you… us.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more memories.”

Bokuto nuzzled his face onto Keiji’s neck, breathing in the familiar scent mixed with a slight metallic one. 

Bokuto felt Keiji’s hand clutching at his own chest. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Like hell.” Keiji groaned, laying his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. 

“How long?” 

“3? No, 4 weeks.”

“It’s only been a month, how'd it get like this?”

Keiji stayed quiet, then followed by the descent of even more roses. 

“Fuck, Keiji, baby, I’m sorry.” 

Bokuto presses small kisses at the top of Keiji’s head to, hopefully, calm him down, but it didn’t work. 

“Keiji please, give me time, I’ll learn to love you again, I’ll learn just please don’t go yet.”

“Don’t.” Keiji muttered.

“Keiji please, I’ll quit my job, I’ll quit the Black Jackals, I’ll spend more time with you, I’ll take you on dates again,” Bokuto pushed away the streaks of hair that clung onto Keiji’s tear stained face. “It’ll be like highschool again!”

Keiji smiled at the mention of highschool. 

When Bokuto would patiently wait outside of Keiji’s classroom so they could eat lunch together, when they would study for midterms in Keiji’s flat, when they would skip classes to take a walk at the beach, when they loved each other the same. 

“Keiji, remember our dreams? Please let me fulfil them, just a little time? You wanted a cat right? I’ll get one! You want to get married? I’ll propose tomorrow! Just please-”

“Don’t force yourself to love me, it’s okay.” Keiji, despite the throbbing pain on his chest, managed to put on a smile. 

“Dammit Keiji why are you so kind to me?” He nuzzled his head on Keiji’s neck and started to cry harder. “Get mad! Hate me! Don’t tell me it’s okay when I’m killing you!”

Keiji’s breaths grew deeper, but despite his deep breaths, little to no air made its way to his lungs. 

“Can you… promise… me one thing… Koutarou?” 

Bokuto looked at the raven haired and nodded. 

“Anything.”

“Don’t get… held up… because of… because of me,” Keiji winced when a sharp pain jabbed at his chest. “Move on… love other people… get married… have kids… live a… happy life.”

Bokuto caressed Keiji’s cheeks with his thumbs and nodded. 

“Can you… promise me… Koutarou?”

“I promise.”

Keiji bent over forward when another pain jabbed at his chest. 

“I’ll be okay, you can rest now.” Bokuto strokes the raven curls on Keiji’s head. 

Bokuto clears the bed of a few stems and slowly lays down in bed, with Keiji’s head on his chest. 

“Koutarou?”

“Keiji?”

“Can you… at least… one time… say I love you? Even if… you don’t mean it.”

“Keiji, I love you, I love you so much, I love you more than you could ever imagine.” 

Keiji smiled again, followed by a few whimpers. 

“Shhh, I know.” Bokuto hugged the raven haired tighter.

Keiji felt the warmth of Bokuto underneath him, the same warmth that he fell in love with back in the day. 

Bokuto watched as Keiji’s eyes began to flutter shut. 

“I’m sorry, Keiji.” Bokuto whispered and kissed Keiji’s forehead. 

They both shut their eyes, knowing that one of them wouldn’t wake up the next morning.   
  


~ E N D ~


End file.
